At times, it seems almost futile. Of a mind consumed by business,
only a small amount of brain power is diverted a few daily minutes of Torah. Of
a heart agitated by financial worries, only a small corner is reserved for pure
feelings towards a loved one. And how much remains for charity after the bills
are paid? At best, only miniscule "samplings" of our resources are
dedicated to a higher purpose.
Is it even worth the effort?
Genesis 6:8-11:32 Week of October 29-November 4 
Noah makes an ark, G-d floods the earth, a dove brings an olive branch, Shem
and Japeth drag a blanket, men build a tower and the first Jew is born...
Of course, there are many things to discuss about Noah and The Flood. But let’s first step back and look at the big picture: G-d makes a world and puts people in it. He sets an ideal for how those people should take care of His world. The people mess up, G-d gets upset, drowns the subjects of this first experiment and starts all over again. Now let’s ask the most basic questions: How is it that a G-d who is capable of creating an entire universe, time, space and laws of nature included, can’t get His own creatures to fall in line?
In those days there was only one car service in Crown Heights and it was run by Chassidim, a class of people for whom time means nothing. I walked into the store-front office and told them I wanted a car to take me to LaGuardia Airport at 3:45. I emphasized (several times) that 3:45 does not mean 3:50 or even 3:46. I was not interested in approximations. The proprietor, in soothing tones, assured me that they were professionals with considerable experience in this business and there was absolutely nothing to worry about.
A strange thing has happened since my diagnosis several months ago. It seems that G-d’s voice has grown louder. The voice is not a voice, or at least not only a voice, but sensations and emotions, visions and dreams, a cascade of perspectives and comprehensions, and the simple beauty of a café filled with people, located on a busy, noisy, dusty street. A beauty that, when looked at through the cracks my illness has caused in the surety of my life, simply knocks your socks off.
In modern spiritual movements, we are often advised to listen our "inner voice"; "Follow your bliss" was the slogan of one popular teacher. We suspect such advice of superficiality, yet we make numerous "intuitive" decisions every day, in the belief that we have access to deeper sources of heartfelt knowledge. Is this truth or illusion?
Twice in the Torah we find a human and an animal conversing: Eve and the serpent, and Balaam and his ass. In both cases, they're talking about the uses and abuses of the Inner Voice. |
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