During my last trip to the Holy Land, I was traveling in a taxi. After a while, I started a conversation:

Me: So... how long to Hertzelia?

Driver: Right after Tel Aviv.

Me: and...

Driver: We are approaching Tel Aviv right now.

Me: So another five minutes? Great! We are going to be on time.

Driver: Not so fast! What if there is traffic around Tel Aviv?

Me: Looking at my watch, and realizing it's a perfect time for traffic. What if there is traffic?

Driver: Who knows, maybe 15 minutes, maybe a half hour.

Me: Realizing that there is a good chance this trip will be longer than anticipated, I take a deep breath. I guess we will be at the right place at the right time. Do I really believe that?

Driver: How do you know? You're a prophet?

Me: Aha! I got you there! Feels important, and delivers the next line with a deep voice: Because we are aaaaalways at the right place at the right time. Pause for effect. More pause for more effect.You know it says in Kaballah... Looks in horror as we come to a complete stop and starts regretting sounding so confident. Is that what you meant with hitting traffic?

Driver: Kinda. I thought we would hit it a little later; it looks a little worse than I thought. But as you said, we're aaaaalways at the right place at the right time... What are you nervous about?

Me: mumbles to himself: That will teach you... loud for the driver: Yeah, right place, right time. I'm in no rush; take your time.

Driver: Taking his time for the next 45 minutes. Will do, prophet.

Did you wake up on November 5th with a sense of change?

Politics aside, I did wake with a good feeling the day after the election. I felt a sense of excitement in the air. I was at the bank and heard people saying that they felt excited, proud and ready for change!

What expectations we have of the President-elect, are yet to be proven. Wall Street continues its roller coaster; Palestinians from Gaza are sending rockets on innocent Israelis, and the Russians want missiles in Poland. I guess not all of those guys are looking for a positive change.

But I, for one, felt the need to implement changes I have wanted for awhile. I would like to share my thoughts on a three-step plan for change (maybe Mr. Obama will take note).

I went on a jog that morning. That’s something I have not done in quite some time. I started my day with changes that I have wanted to implement at work for a while. Whenever I got distracted and heard that voice inside saying: "Oh, leave that in the car; you will take it out another time," I went ahead and did it then and there!

You see Step One in change is about seizing the moment, not a promise and hope. It is about doing something NOW, not just strategizing. How do we capture this wind of change in our own lives?

Change is a difficult thing to accomplish; there are myriad volumes of psychotherapy and psychoanalysis books where writers and doctors try to preach how to change a habit and how to overcome an addiction. There are books on coaching, and quick-fix methods how to lose weight, how to be more motivated and how to be a better person. Truly these are life-long challenges in man’s pursuit of growth, improvement, fulfillment and happiness. But how do we change? How do we be the person we always wanted to be?

The holy Rabbi Zushe of Anipoli, a 17th century Chassidic Master, was quoted as saying: "When I go up to heaven, the heavenly courts won't ask me: ‘Tell us Zushe why were you not like Abraham? Why were you not like Moses or King David?’ They will say: ‘Zushe, why were you not Zushe?’"

So, Step Two is to stop measuring up against the successes or failures of others; rather be honest with where you are at and where you want to be.

And finally, Step Three: Too often we think that change means an addition to our lives. We think that change is about meeting a new face, going on a new diet, getting a new brand of makeup, a new car or a new toy.

Real change comes from within. Real change is looking in the mirror and saying to ourselves as G-d said to Adam after sinning in the Garden of Eden: Ayekah - Where are you? G-d knew where Adam was. G-d meant: Where are you making progress? What are you doing in this world?

To inspire this tangible change, we need to get in touch and start communicating with ourselves, about our insides, our inner being and faculties—our inner emotions.

We need to learn how to find ourselves—touching the part of us that is so often hidden deep within ourselves and hardly exposed. That inner self is what we call the Neshamah, the soul. We get in touch with that part of ourselves when we pray, when we sit down for a Shabbat dinner and when we learn some Torah.

Identity crisis strikes us all, and temptations drive us from the path of truth. Let's learn to say no to the negative inclinations and influences. Let's do more than we are expected to accomplish. Let's take on another Mitzvah—let's do another kind deed.

This is the change that we should believe in—change from within. And may G-d, in turn, grant us the change He promised us so long ago, a change that heralds the coming of Mashiach.

I often hear people say that AA and other Twelve Step-based fellowships are selfish programs. I agree that the Twelve Steps are about taking care of one’s self. But taking care of one’s self doesn't necessarily mean that we are selfish.

A man once went into a private audience with the Alter Rebbe, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi. "Rebbe, please help me! I need a blessing for my health. I also need a blessing for Parnassa (livelihood). And I also want to have a better relationship with G-d. Please bless me, Rebbe." Rabbi Schneur Zalman responded: "You list the many things you need. What about the things that you are needed for?"

We should definitely focus on ourselves, if we want to achieve spiritual growth. But we don't have to be selfish about it. Instead of seeking to get more, we should look for ways to be useful to G-d and to others. Instead of looking out for ways to expand our presence in the world, we have to look for how to be of service to G-d's plan for His world.

"Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to G-d and the people about us." - Big Book of AA, page 77

We need to learn to be selflessly selfish.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

All I remember is the last name of the person.

It happens to be Cohen...

The “Find” option on Microsoft Outlook takes forever --and comes up with 12,372 results.

The time has come to install Google Desktop.

Installation time: Under one minute.

The promise: Will find anything that is on your hard drive in seconds.

The catch: Needs to "index" your hard drive.

Indexing is taking forever.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Indexing Status... 4%

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Indexing Status... 5%

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Indexing Status... 5%

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Indexing Status... 5%

Forget about Google Desktop. I'm going back to the 12,372 results.

Why is my computer so slow?

Let's see if I got a new email.

Hey, the market is down again.

My screen is frozen.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Indexing Status... 5%

OMG, this is driving me nuts! ... I hate my computer.

What's wrong with Google?

I'm going to find out what’s wrong with Google.

Indexing Status... 5%... What's that in red?

Indexing while computer is idle only

Hmmmm...

The more I think I control, the less I am in control.

I need to find an email; and I need it now.

Too Bad.

The time of Sukkot is also called "The Season of Our Rejoicing." There are three Festivals a year -- Pesach, Shavuot and Sukkot. On each one we are commanded to "rejoice on your holidays." So why is Sukkot especially singled out as a time of joy -- more than all of the other holidays?

The answer is that on Sukkot when we get inside of the Sukkah, we are actually enveloped in a mitzvah! And when we look around, what do we see? A bunch of other people we know. Because the Sukkah embraces every one of us equally, it allows us all inside.

Sukkot is about group unity, about sharing space with others, and about being in harmony with the people around you. And that's why -- more than any other holiday -- Sukkot brings us such joy. That’s because the Sukkah won't allow you to isolate. You've got to leave your home and go into the Sukkah. You've got to be in that space with everyone that the Sukkah takes inside.

Such a formula for happiness is no secret to the recovering addict. We know that the worst place to be is locked up inside our own head. To find joy, we need to get outside of ourselves and connect to others. We’ve got to stop feeling "apart from" and start feeling "a part of."

This Sukkot we have eight wonderful days to experience the holiness of this special mitzvah time. This experience forces us to get outside of ourselves and enter into an experience of being interconnected with others.

I was talking to a recovering addict the other day who has some long-term sobriety, but is now struggling again. I asked him to tell me about the G-d of his understanding.

"Kind, compassionate, forgiving, all-knowing," he told me. "What about in control?" I asked.

I told him that for me (just me, forget that I'm the Rabbi for a minute), the first and most important quality I must attribute to the G-d of my understanding is that He is in control. Kind, compassionate, forgiving and all-knowing will not keep me sober. I have to know that G-d is in absolute control.

If I weren't an alcoholic, I might be happy with a caring G-d. But caring doesn't cut it for me. What good is it to be cared for by a G-d who is wimpy and incompetent? At least for me, that doesn't do much for my serenity. "G-d loves you" won't keep me from crumbling under the pressures of reality, but "G-d is in control" will.

When I speak about control, I am not talking about G-d controlling me. My free choice is the only thing to credit or to blame for my actions. I am talking about G-d's control of the universe.

We do not live in a chaotic universe. G-d is perpetually re-creating the world; He creates something from absolute nothing every single second. He is putting everything just where He wants it. Nothing escapes His attention; no detail is neglected. The world is constantly being guided and cared for.

That kind of control is what the Baal Shem Tov taught us when he explained how G-d's providence extends even to a little leaf falling from a tree. When I start to forget that it's all from G-d, I get resentful and scared. When I remember that it's all going according to plan, I feel serenity.

The situation may not be to our liking, but it's all perfectly under control!

"Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." - Step Four

Working on Step Four at this time of year is highly appropriate, as we are busy trying to focus ourselves and our energies. Let us spend a few minutes analyzing and meditating on the words "searching" and "fearless" in Step Four.

Searching

On the evening before Passover, we search our homes by the light of a candle for all chametz, leavened bread. Chametz may not be consumed on Passover, and so we remove it from our homes. The story is told about the Alter Rebbe - Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, whose search for chametz lasted the entire night -- even though he had only one room.

After completing his search, the Alter Rebbe offered a mystical interpretation of the words of the Mishnah, the source of this tradition: "On the eve of the fourteenth, we search for chametz by the light of a candle," He interpreted it as follows: Thirteen is numerically equivalent to the word echad -- "one." Oneness is identified with the knowledge of G-d. On this level, there is no need to search -- because it is all perfect.

Fourteen refers to our emotional attributes, the seven attributes of the animal soul and the seven attributes of the G-dly soul. When we look at our own emotions, a search is needed. The search must be "by the light of a candle," a reference to the soul. As it is said: "The candle of G-d is the soul of man." This internal search must encompass one's entire being, just as the actual search for chametz must probe into even the "holes and cracks" of one's home.

In other words, the Alter Rebbe spent hours searching within his own character. How relevant to our recovery!

How often do we get caught up with I? I need this, or I need that. When we consider ourselves as our own god, we leave no room for improvement. In fact, in our eyes there is nothing wrong with us. This idea can lead us down the negative path, to take that drink: I am my own god and, therefore invincible. We know where that will lead us. And, my friends, it is only our soul, our light, that can make that ultimate and true search.

Also, as we search for our character defects, we also find our unique and blessed character-traits. These need rigorous work and refinement, to be really useful to us. When we achieve that, then the search process is real. Then we are at peace with ourselves.

Fearless

When the holy Baal Shem Tov, founder of the Chassidic movement, was only five years old, his father Rabbi Eliezer died. The last words his father said to him were, "Yisrael, my son, you have a very holy soul; don't fear anything but G-d."

Fear is okay when it is G-dly. Constructive fear can only stem from our relationship with G-d. It is G-d’s way of keeping us straight and guiding our conscience. When fear comes from our own insecurity, it is selfish, dishonest and ignores our flaws. Before we start an internal search, we must rid ourselves from that fear, and embrace the fear of G-d.

May we all be blessed with peace of mind and peace of heart and health in this coming year.

Contrary to popular misconception, Yom Kippur is not only about being forgiven by G-d. Forgiveness you can get all year round; Yom Kippur is primarily about atonement. Big difference. Forgiveness means that after I make my apology, I'm off the hook. Atonement means that I am engaged in hard work to restore the relationship to its original state.

The word for atonement in Hebrew is kaparah, which also means "wiping up." If I spill my grape juice on your carpet, I can say sorry and be forgiven. But the stain is still there. Atonement only comes when I get the carpet cleaners to come clean your carpet.

And this is exactly what we do in the Ninth Step. Amends are not apologies. Making amends means trying to remove the stain, making things right again, and eventually even restoring the relationship to how it originally was. If an apology will make the person feel better, then we may include an apology in the amends. But the main thing is that we make it up to the person in a way that is significant to them.

Our amends to G-d are not an apology, but rather a sincere attempt to restore the relationship on His terms -- the way He likes it. Of course, if you just come to the synagogue on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, then that's not really an amend. The making of amends is a long-term project where we show the one we have harmed that we have honestly changed and changed permanently. When we behave differently all year round as a result of our Yom Kippur amends, then we are proving that we really atoned.